Saturday, January 24, 2026

Humans Suck

Whether you’re a Creationist, Evolutionist, or somewhere in between, I’ll have to argue about the whole coming from a chimp thing.

I say we’re direct descendents from leeches.

  • Chimps live in harmony with their environment. Leeches suck life out of their hosts.

  • Chimps eat what they need and move on. Leeches gorge themselves into a sickening bloated mass.

  • Chimps meet each others needs, grooming each other for social connection and to remove pests. Leeches know nothing but host and self.

  • Chimps create tools and solve problems. Leeches are fairly mindless, living only to eat and reproduce.

You may think of yourself as mostly chimp, maybe a little leech on your bad days. But as a collective, I’ll have to throw the lot of us into the leech category.

You be a chimp.

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